The Matrix Reloaded Written By Someone Insane!
by Hunter-14180
Summary: A Parody of The Matrix Reloaded, Follows the same story, but in a less sane way. See characters behave like you've never seen them behave before, rated for language and sarcasm. Please R and R, Thanks. CHAPTER 4 UP!
1. The long journy begins, and Neo can fly!

The Matrix Reloaded Written by someone insane!  
  
Disclaimer: Although I love the Matrix, there is no Matrix ownership for me whatsoever.  
  
Ideas, characters etc... are all owned by the Wachowski brothers.  
  
This is a parody of The Matrix Reloaded, which contains spoilers if you havent seen the film but is by no means accurate to the exact events. Anyways, on with the randomness!  
  
There is a hell of a lot of completely random green code to start with, but eventually it ends. There are two security guards sitting in some place or other talking crap to each other. One leaves, then a motorcycle comes flying through the air and blows the control tower to shit. The fireball is extremely over exaggerated but looks awesome, so no one really cares.  
  
The rider of the motorcycle removes their helmet, its Trinity.  
  
"Check me, I'm in the script so early on" exclaimed Trinity happily.  
  
"Oh my god" said an extra, who wont get another line in.  
  
"I rock, I'm gonna kick your asses!" said Trinity.  
  
Trinity ran forward, and kicked a guard in the face. Then she sneezed and concussed the remaining three. The guard she kicked in the face was whining, so she booted him across the floor.  
  
Randomly the green code appears again, and now we are in a skyscraper. Trinity dives out of a window for no apparent reason; chased by a rather angry Agent Thompson.  
  
"Check me, I have Uzi's" exclaimed Trinity proudly.  
  
She then proceeded to fire them repeatedly at Agent Thompson, who returned the favour with his own Desert Eagle Magnum. He also looked at her rather mockingly, so Trinity sneezed and his shades fell off.  
  
"Bugger" said the enraged Agent, who shot Trinity in the stomach. Trinity made a face like she had just slipped over in the bathroom and fell ass first into a car at the bottom of the skyscraper and died.  
  
But it was only a dream, Neo's dream in fact. He was dreaming about his girlfriend dying, he was obviously abused as a child to be so disturbed. Neo rose from his cheap crappy bed where Trinity was sleeping.  
  
  
  
"Oooh, isn't the Nebuchadnezzar exciting," exclaimed a happy Morpheus, who was at the controls flying around in the sewery pipe things underground.  
  
"Yes sir, it is" said Link, the operator  
  
"Wait a minute, your not Tank!" shouted Morpheus.  
  
"No, I'm Link, I'm here to replace Tank because he has died for no apparent reason." Said Link coolly.  
  
"Oh, well if you say so, anyways I need you to do one thing"  
  
"What's that Morpheus?"  
  
"To trust me"  
  
"I do trust you"  
  
"But Link, I'm insane"  
  
"And?"  
  
"Okay then, that's good" finished Morpheus.  
  
The Nebuchadnezzar flew around for a while, and then landed somewhere, who can tell where when all the sewery pipe things look the same.  
  
Link went in to see Neo, who was glancing down at a spoon trying to make it bend. Trinity walked in.  
  
"Oh god not again, your obsessed with spoons!" said Trinity   
  
"No I'm not!" shot back Neo  
  
"Oh yeah, prove it"  
  
"There is no spoon"  
  
"STOP BEING INTOLERABLE!"  
  
"Whoa, calm down Trinity."  
  
Just as they were about to have a slapping fight, Link walked in.  
  
"Hey guys, time to get poles stuffed into the back of your heads and go talk to some other people in a crappy sewer"  
  
"Ok" replied Trinity and Neo.  
  
  
  
"This strange holographic thing that I'm going to pretend to understand tells us that there are 250,000 sentinels coming to kill us," said captain Niobe.   
  
"Well that's a bastard isn't it" said captain soreen  
  
"Hello" said Morpheus suddenly  
  
"Morpheus glad you could join us"  
  
"Captain Niobe" said Morpheus to Niobe (possibly proving he is sober?)  
  
"I believe in this crappy prophecy, so shut up and listen to me BLAH BLAH BLAH…"  
  
Meanwhile, outside a dark car pulls up and out steps a tall figure dressed in a black suit. His face is hidden from view by the conveniently placed camera angles and car headlights. Back downstairs, Neo pulls a more vacant expression than usual, and wanders upstairs.  
  
The figure from the car bangs on the door. Some extra character opens it.  
  
"I'm looking for Neo" came the familiar sounding voice  
  
"Who the hell you talking bout mate?" said the extra  
  
"I have something for him, a gift, you see he set me free"  
  
"Oh" said the extra after an uncomfortable pause "are you his lover?"  
  
"No, you freak, I'm his Nemesis!" growled the figure  
  
"Then why the hell are you giving him gifts, are you sure that you don't have repressed urges and feelings towards him?"  
  
"JUST SHUT UP AND GIVE HIM THE PACKAGE!"  
  
The figure slammed the door shut and stormed off in a rage.  
  
Moments later Neo came up the stairs.  
  
"Who was that?" asked Neo as he looked randomly around the room.  
  
"How did you know someone was here?"  
  
"I'm asking the questions because I'm a star character and your not!"  
  
"Fine" groaned the extra "he gave you this"  
  
The extra hands a small envelope to Neo. Neo opens it and an earpiece falls into his hand  
  
"Strange" muttered Neo. "This wasn't on my Christmas wish list…"  
  
Then, without warning, three Agents burst through the door.  
  
"Its him" said Agent Johnson  
  
"Do we proceed?" asked Agent Thompson  
  
"Yes" replied Agent Johnson  
  
"He is still…" Continued Agent Thompson  
  
"Only human" Finished Agent Jackson.  
  
"That's really sad, how you all know what your gonna say" stated Neo  
  
"Well we are…" began Agent Jackson  
  
"Programs, and therefore…" continued Agent Johnson  
  
"Connected" Finished Agent Thompson.  
  
"Yeah" began Neo "But it's still sad"  
  
"Kill him," demanded Agent Jackson.  
  
The agents run forward and start punching wildly, and trying to pose any threat whatsoever.  
  
"You guys are so lame, I can just kick the crap out of you," laughed Neo  
  
"Quiet you," shrieked one of the agents  
  
Neo smacks all the agents up good, sending one of them into a streetlight and the glass falls down and smashes everywhere. This obviously scares the crap out of Neo as he suddenly looks round, farts and flies off into the air.  
  
A dark figure then walks slowly towards the camera and starts blabbing. Its agent Smith  
  
"Hehe, bet you didn't guess it was me did you? Anyways that went as expected considering I have the script right here"  
  
An exact copy of Smith walks towards the original  
  
"Yes" he says  
  
"It's happening exactly as before," continued the original  
  
"Well, not exactly" completes the clone  
  
The two smile gormlessly at each other for a while and then leave.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Morpheus complete with Trinity have buggered off into a car, which has randomly spawned from somewhere, and are driving around the matrix aimlessly. Morpheus is on the phone.  
  
"No, mother listen! Stop taking those pills, I need them to free minds… hold on there is someone else on the line. I have to go, bye."  
  
Trinity is trying not to laugh. It turns out to be Link on the other line.  
  
"Hello, I need more screen time so I thought I'd phone you."  
  
Morpheus looked rather angry.  
  
"What, I'm supposed to phone you dammit! Oh well. Anyways what happened back there in the foul unnecessarily rat infested sewers?"  
  
"Oh, agents came along and tried to kill everyone, but Neo kicked the crap out of them and then arsed off"  
  
"Sounds good!"  
  
"Is Neo okay?" added Trinity  
  
"Ok shit, you should have seen him!"  
  
"That actually doesn't answer my question," protested Trinity  
  
"You, quiet. I have to go now, things to do. Bye"  
  
Link hangs up the phone, and now all of a sudden were back to Neo  
  
"Wow" began Neo "these super beans really do allow one to fly. I owe Morpheus $20"  
  
After Neo has finished making pretty patterns with the sky, he goes off in search of the woman who tells you shit that's going to happen, but cant find her.  
  
"Where are you? You promised me cookies!" whined Neo.   
  
TO BE CONCLUDED...  
  
Right, there is the first chapter. If i get positive feedback, I will continue and eventually write the whole thing! 


	2. Neo has odd dreams, Smith clones, Hamann...

Neo stumbles over some furniture for a while and eventually the scene changes to Link talking to the Zion operating woman.  
  
"Hello" said link  
  
"Oh god its you, anyways, come on home"  
  
"Well that was easy. God dam its good to be home!"  
  
The Nebuchadnezzar flies around the dock for a while so the Wachowskis can show off how much money they spent on the film and then it lands.  
  
"Come along Neo" said Trinity  
  
"But I'm still trying to bend this spoon" said Neo  
  
"OH FOR GOD SAKE, FORGET THE SPOON!" Screamed trinity  
  
"Whoa! Easy girl" complained Neo  
  
"Besides, when we've finished being pointless, me and you can make out in slow motion! Isn't that just great!"  
  
"WOW! Cool" exclaimed Neo, who dropped the spoon and joined the others.  
  
The crew walked off the Neb, and walked down to be greeted by captain Mifune.  
  
"Hello you crazy insane leader person" said Mifune to Morpheus  
  
"Hehe, you have a stupid name"  
  
"Shut the hell up, Morphy"  
  
"Don't call me Morphy"  
  
"Don't ridicule my name then"  
  
A long silence, then along came the nauseous kid  
  
"Hi Neo, I love you" he screamed  
  
"Oh god not him, will someone remove him please" whined trinity  
  
Neo grumbled and gazed around Zion aimlessly. The kid approached  
  
"Hiya Neo, its great to have you back, can I help in any way no matter how degrading?" asked the kid  
  
"No, you can leave me alone. I love trinity, and stop idolising me I have fan girls for that purpose!" protested Neo  
  
"WHAT!?" shrieked trinity  
  
"Err… I mean I have trinity for that purpose please don't kill me"  
  
Trinity nodded and the crew went for walkies. Mifune and Morphy still arguing over whose name sounds the most stupid. After a short while, they arrived at an elevator.  
  
Link and the kid rode it up one level, the kid still protesting that his love for Neo was pure and special, Neo trying not to yell at him.  
  
"This is our stop, move your ass kid," said link  
  
"Awww, but I want to stay here with Neo"  
  
"Quit whining and follow me"  
  
"Grrr… I'll see you later (winks at Neo)"  
  
Trinity looked around slowly to Neo  
  
"Did he wink at you?"  
  
"No" remarked Neo quickly "He just had something in his eye… can we snog now?"   
  
Trinity smiled and the two snogged for a while, until the doors opened and a load of people approached them.  
  
"Neo please watch over my kid"  
  
"Fine fine whatever"  
  
Meanwhile, Morpheus was in lock's office.  
  
"Hello lock you bastard," remarked Morpheus  
  
"Hello Morpheus you tosser" replied lock.   
  
"Why did you ask for a ship to stay behind"  
  
"Because we need to wait for contact by the oracle woman"  
  
"Don't talk shit, I don't care about oracles or prophecies or whatever, I care about one thing, stopping that army from reaching the city."  
  
Morpheus looked around and sighed.  
  
"Me too, you girlfriend-steeling fool"  
  
Lock rose from his chair, and councillor Hamann entered.  
  
"Hi, I'm old," said Hamann "Did I come at a bad time?"  
  
"No councillor, of course not councillor, your great councillor" said lock  
  
"Stop being such an ass kisser lock" protested Morpheus  
  
"I have to make a boring speech to a load of people, what should I say?"  
  
"Well councillor, I think you should lie through your teeth"  
  
"Hmmm…. Yes there is that option, what about you Morpheus?"   
  
"Tell them the truth, but let me tell them. My insanity should calm them down"  
  
"Ok fine whatever"  
  
LATER THAT DAY  
  
"Hello, I am old. Anyways I'm so old I forgot my line, so here is your very own insane prophecy believing man, Morpheus!"  
  
The Zion crowd cheer for a while as Morpheus walks towards them all.  
  
"Hello, I'm insane. By the way 250,000 sentinels are coming to kill us, but don't be afraid, instead lets all party like there is no tomorrow, because with lock in defence there probably will be no tomorrow. Let the music begin!"   
  
Zion cheered, and there was a party. Meanwhile trinity and Neo made out in slow motion, with the kid watching from behind a corner and crying.  
  
"Well that was fun," said Neo at last. Then he saw trinity die in his mind again.  
  
"Why do you keep pulling that vacant worried kinda look?"  
  
"Oh, its just I keep seeing you die that's all"  
  
"That's just you being insane, I wouldn't worry about it"  
  
"Ok"   
  
Meanwhile somewhere in the matrix, bane and some other extra who's name escapes me are arsing about and come jumping through a window.  
  
"Wow, that was fun, now lets escape the matrix" said the extra. He picked up the phone and disappeared down it. Bane followed him, but then along came Agent Smith  
  
"Hello, I've come to turn you into me" said smith  
  
"Id rather you didn't" protested Bane  
  
"Well, I'm going to so there"  
  
Smith ran forward and slammed his hand into Bane. Bane slowly turned into an exact copy of Agent Smith.  
  
"Cool, now lets chat for a while" they said together, and off they went to be pointless.   
  
Neo woke suddenly, he had been dreaming, in fact that's all he seems to do.  
  
"Right that's it, I've had it. First I dream about Trinity dying and now Agent Smith, I need some counselling or something."  
  
Hamann walked forward, wearing some ridiculous night cloth or something.  
  
"Hi, I'm old. Need some company?" asked Hamann  
  
"Sure, why not" replied Neo  
  
The two of them talked pointlessly for a while, and then went down to mock some machines in the engineering level.   
  
The following day, link Morpheus Trinity and Neo left on a voyage to do stuff.  
  
After much whining and pointless talking, Neo walks into a room and finds seraph sitting down drinking herbal tea.  
  
"Hi, I'm the one, check how great I am"  
  
Seraph walked up to him  
  
"Hi I am seraph the guardian of the oracle. I can take you to her, but first I'm going to punch you"  
  
Seraph punches Neo in the face who goes flying backwards into a wall.  
  
"OW! That really hurt, you bastard!"  
  
"Good, again I must apologise, but I had to be sure you were the one"  
  
"And this proves it how?" demanded Neo as he got to his feet  
  
"Only the one would be so stupid as to let himself get punched by me"  
  
"Fine whatever, can I see the woman who tells you shit that's going to happen now?"  
  
Seraph discarded his herbal tea and lead Neo into an endless corridor. Neo resisted the urge to play hide and seek.  
  
"Cool, an endless corridor" commented Neo  
  
he followed seraph into a crappy run down looking area of the matrix, and there sitting on a bench feeding some program birds was the oracle herself, but without the cookies.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED… 


	3. Neo meets the Oracle, the truth about th...

DISCLAIMER: I Don't hate French people, I'm just rude about everyone!  
  
"Hello, I'm all knowing. What do you want?" began the Oracle  
  
"Err…hi, where are the cookies?" questioned Neo whilst trying not to look too gormless.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry my dear, I've fed them all to the birds"  
  
"Bitch"  
  
"You can talk, you're about to embark on a tedious quest, and I shall mock you good"  
  
"Quest?"  
  
The Oracle woman hands Neo a dictionary and he looks for the word quest, meanwhile the Oracle woman continues.  
  
"You have go and see Mr. Frency, the Merovingian. Demand the key maker then go to the door made of golden light, got that?"   
  
Neo is reading the definition of quest. He looks up and nods slowly  
  
"Good, now here have some candy," said the Oracle woman  
  
"Ohh thanks." Said Neo, who swallowed it without taking of the wrapping paper  
  
"This candy is awful," complained Neo  
  
The Oracle woman sighed, then got up and left  
  
Neo was all alone. He finished his candy and then started to look up rude words in the dictionary and giggled like a schoolgirl at some of them.  
  
Then from nowhere, Agent Smith appeared and walked towards Neo  
  
"Hi, I'm dangerous. I've come to talk about purpose and exiled programs."  
  
"You know I don't understand what the hell you are on about so lets just fight"  
  
"Suits me" replied Smith  
  
Smith stuck his hand into Neo, looking angry.  
  
"Smith, don't touch there!" screamed Neo  
  
Smith looked embarrassed, and raised his hand and slammed it this time into Neo's stomach and returned to looking angry.  
  
Neo smacked Smith in the face, who went flying backwards into a wall. Then lots more Smiths came along.  
  
"Awww crap" moaned Neo  
  
A long fight began, involving lots of punching, kicking and flying Smith clones. After a while, the Smith clones piled on Neo  
  
"It is inevitable," said Smith  
  
Neo whined then burst out and flew away.  
  
The Smith clones shook their fists at the sky in an angry and threatening manner.  
  
"Crap, he got away," said Smith  
  
"Yes, away" said a clone  
  
"Oh well we can convert him into a clone later" said another clone  
  
"Yes, convert," continued yet another clone  
  
"Silence clones!" demanded Smith. "I'm off to turn innocent people into me, now come along!"  
  
Smith led the way and the other clones followed him off.  
  
LATER ON  
  
"Urgh, I'm really tired," exclaimed Neo  
  
"How come Smith is alive, didn't you jump inside him and explode him?" questioned a rather confused Morpheus  
  
"Yes, but now he is back and with clones, look I'm too stupid to give you a decent explanation considering I have absolutely no idea what Smith was talking about"  
  
(Wait till he meets the architect!)  
  
"Oh well what a shame, never mind" said Trinity.  
  
"Right, I'm off to bend spoons, bye," announced Neo suddenly.  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
"The machines are tunnelling to avoid our defences," said Lock  
  
"Hi, I'm old. What do you intend to do about it?" said councillor Hamann  
  
"We will get lots of people with guns and shoot them" said Lock  
  
"Ok, sounds good." Said Hamann  
  
"Why didn't the machines think to do this earlier?" questioned some extra  
  
(Long silence)  
  
"Well?" the extra asked again  
  
(Continued silence)  
  
ELSEWHERE  
  
"Of all the people we would have to deal with, and we have to see that French guy the Merovingian. I seriously have no idea what he is on about," complained Neo  
  
"Lets face it baby, you don't understand jack," laughed Trinity  
  
"Oh yeah, at least I don't dive out of a window like a pillock and get shot in the stomach by Agent Thompson!" shot back Neo  
  
Trinity is abruptly quiet. Morpheus appears, and the three enter an elevator  
  
"What can you see Neo?" asks Morpheus  
  
"Your ass"  
  
"No you prick, go into green code view and tell me what you can see"  
  
"Hmmm… everything is so green (Morpheus sighs) it's different"  
  
"Oh for god sake, good or bad" shrieked Trinity  
  
"Well, since this place is shit-loaded with bombs I'd say bad"  
  
The doors open  
  
"Hello, I'm an extra, why are you lot here," asked an extra  
  
"Hello, we are here to see the Merovingian." Exclaimed Morpheus  
  
"Ok, follow me"  
  
The extra leads Morpheus, Neo and Trinity to the Merovingian  
  
"Hi, I'm French. Before I talk about causality, why, reason and taking pisses let me introduce you to my hot bitch Persephone.   
  
Neo drools, Morpheus drools, and then Trinity drools.  
  
"Trin, why are you drooling!!" asked Neo concerned  
  
"Well since you guys were, I thought I'd join in"  
  
Neo looks at her weird for a while and then the Merovingian begins to talk  
  
"Hello, I'm French. Want some French wine, in a French glass?"  
  
The three shake their head.  
  
"Ah well, I like French stuff, what with me being French and all. Now what do you want anyways?"  
  
"We want the keymaker," replied Morpheus, wiping the drool from his mouth  
  
"Do you know why you want him?"  
  
"Yeah" began Neo "cause we need him to win the war against the machines"  
  
"Oh, well in that case you can't have him. I need to take a piss and indulge in some matrix sex so I will say adieu and goodbye."  
  
"Well fuck you then!" shot Morpheus. The three get up and leave  
  
"Well you don't need an IQ of 3 digits long to understand we fucked up" commented Neo as he and Trin and Morphy got back into the elevator and arsed off. When the doors open, low and behold, its Persephone looking as hot as ever!  
  
"Hi, I'm fit. If you want the keymaker come with me"  
  
"Hell yeah" cried Morpheus and Neo together, Trinity grumps and follows  
  
Persephone leads them into a shitter. She puts on some lipstick and turns to Neo  
  
"Enough talk, no kiss me"  
  
Neo doesn't even hesitate "yes ma'am". Neo kisses her  
  
"That was piss poor. Bye" said Persephone after the kiss  
  
"Ok, ok, ok I was just testing. Now let us kiss with tongue!!!" replied Neo  
  
Trinity spends the rest of the snogging scene being restrained by Morpheus.  
  
"Wow, you rock at kissing, follow me if you want the key dude"  
  
Persephone leads them around into a fine looking lavish hallway place thing, and into a room containing two vampire dudes.   
  
"Hi vampires, I'm going to kill one of you!" remarked Persephone suddenly  
  
She acquires a gun from her purse and shoots one of the vampires in the face  
  
"Bitch!" shouted the other vampire.  
  
"Either go and report my naughty act to the Merovingian or stay here and die too, asshole" shot back Persephone.  
  
The other vampire abruptly leaves, Persephone stands around looking hot for a while then leads them through a bookcase and down into a prison cell where the keymaker dude is being kept. Neo opened the door.  
  
"Hi, I make keys, have you come to rescue me?" questioned the keymaker  
  
"Sure, why not" replied Neo  
  
After freeing the keymaker dude, Neo Morphy, Trin and the keymaker dude return to the lavish hallway place, just in time to see the Merovingian storm in looking rather pissed off.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED… 


	4. dudes with dreadlocks, a cool freeway ch...

"Hi, I'm French and angry! Persephone, how could you betray me! What have I done to deserve this insulting traitorous act!?"  
  
Persephone smiled at the Merovingian "How about that matrix sex you just had?"  
  
"Err… I have to get angry now!" retorted the Merovingian  
  
"Fine whatever" replied Persephone "Besides, I'm off, bye"  
  
Persephone walks through a door and away from the action.  
  
"We shall just leave quietly," said Morpheus  
  
"The hell you will!" screamed the Merovingian "goons, kill him!"  
  
"Which one?" asked a goon  
  
The Merovingian sighed. "Twins, get the key making prick, everyone else on the dude with shades!"  
  
"Which dude with shades?" asked a goon  
  
"THE ONE WITHOUT THE MASSIVE GAP BETWEEN HIS TEETH!" screamed the Merovingian  
  
Morpheus snuck off, along with the key making dude and Trinity.  
  
The Merovingian's goons fire a shit load of ammunition at Neo, but he just sticks out his hand and all of the bullets stop and fall to the floor.  
  
"Dam" exclaimed the Merovingian "Looks like its back to close combat, thwack him!"  
  
The goons rush forward, and a fight scene takes place, where Neo stabs, slices, punches, kicks and impales all the goons. After dispatching of all of them, Neo turns his attention to the Merovingian, but is secretly trying to find Persephone to drool over her some more. The Merovingian turns to Neo and starts to speak.  
  
"Being a busy Frenchman, I must go and indulge in some more French wine with my almighty Frenchness, be seeing you!"  
  
The Merovingian leaves, and slams the door in Neo's face.  
  
"Ow. Dick!" complained Neo  
  
NOT SO FAR AWAY  
  
"Hi, I can't make keys if I'm dead. Follow Me," announced the keymaker.  
  
Trinity and Morpheus follow the keymaker dude down a thin corridor (where in the film it is clearly shown that Morpheus acquires a samurai sword, for those of you who say he got it from nowhere. If that's not you the reader I apologise)  
  
They make their way into a parking lot.  
  
"Hi, check my dreadlocks, drop your weapons," said twin one, who had phased in, in front of the escaping party.  
  
"Screw you!" shot back Morpheus who blasted at the twins, then proceeded to slash at them with his conveniently located samurai sword. Trinity and the key-making dude commandeered a car.  
  
"Morpheus, get your teeth gap in here!" screamed Trinity  
  
"Oh god, don't let the teeth gap thing become a new insult, or I shall mock you in ways you cant possibly imagine!" shot back Morpheus, hiding his teeth the whole time.  
  
"Bugger, they're getting away. C'mon, lets nick a massive truck thing and go breaking cars on the highway" said twin one to twin two.  
  
ABOUT 20 FEET BEHIND  
  
"Must make it to car park" said Neo to himself as he ran towards the twins. Twin two smiled and slammed the door in his face.  
  
"Hah! You think a door can stop the almighty Neo? Fool!" mocked Neo  
  
He smashed open the door, and found that instead of their being a car park, he was now up in the mountains  
  
"What the fuck?" Neo said, looking extraordinarily vacant.  
  
Neo takes out his phone, and phones up link  
  
"Hey, what the hell?" he questioned  
  
"Err… for some reason your up in the mountains," exclaimed link, confused  
  
Neo looked around  
  
"Oh, that explains those massive hills," commented Neo  
  
"Mountains" link corrected  
  
"Massive hills!" insisted Neo  
  
"They are called mountains, I'm an operator I think I know what they're called!"  
  
"Who's name appears first in the ending credits!?" continued Neo  
  
"Actually its one of the extras, because its in alphabetical order" replied link coolly  
  
"What! Dam, I can't use that excuse anymore, ok fine, whose name appeared first in the credits of the original film "The Matrix?" asked Neo, trying to win the argument  
  
"Look, can we please discus this later. Now Morphy Trin and keymaker dude are in the city, 500 miles due south."  
  
"Hey! Only I may call them by their slang names!" shouted an enraged Neo  
  
Link whined and hung up. Neo took another mouthful of super beans and ascended into the heavens.   
  
BACK TO THE OTHERS  
  
The silver car races out of the garage, much to the anger of an old woman who was walking by, being driven by Trinity.  
  
"Faster Trinity" began Morpheus "Them dudes with the dreadlocks are behind us"  
  
"You'd better call link for a way outta here," exclaimed Trinity  
  
"Glad to see someone else read the script… err… I mean good idea," said Morpheus  
  
Morpheus pressed the one button required to get through to link  
  
"Hello, mother! What are you doing on the line, have you been looking for those pills again!? For god sake woman cant you just leave them alone. What, no of course you can't hear screeching tires! Look, I have to go, something important has come up, bye."  
  
Morpheus turned round and glared at Trinity  
  
"If you laugh…."  
  
Trinity laughed and Morpheus just glared.  
  
Morpheus once again tried to contact link  
  
"Operator"  
  
"Link, block my mothers number, she's really pissing me off, oh and were really screwed at the moment so could you please get us the hell outta here!"  
  
"Ok now go to the 101 and then BLAH BLAH BLAH…."  
  
"Ok, well be ready for you"  
  
Morpheus hangs up the phone.  
  
The twins arrive behind the fleeing party and start shooting them up good with a machine gun.  
  
"Ahh, I have a phobia of bullets," whined the keymaker dude  
  
"Silence you, you'd better prove useful!" complained Trinity  
  
The keymaker dude silences, and the twins continue to shoot. Trinity drives off onto the freeway  
  
"Trinity what the hell are you doing?" demanded Morpheus  
  
"I'm going on the freeway so we can have an impressive chase scene"  
  
"Oh well as long as it's entertaining"  
  
"Oh it will be, it will be!"  
  
Trinity slammed her foot down on the pedals and roared away down the freeway with the twins in hot pursuit.  
  
SOMEWHERE IN A CITY NEAR WHERE THE CAR CHASE IS HAPPENING  
  
"Yes, id like a double cheeseburger, super size fries and a large diet coke please," said Neo, who had stopped of at burger king on his flight to rescue everyone else who stars in the film.  
  
"Are you eating in sir?" asked the burger king assistant  
  
"Nope, I have to fly off soon"  
  
"Oh ok, that will be $10.95 enjoy your meal sir"  
  
Neo took his food and left to continue his flight to that city place whatever its called.  
  
BACK TO THE CHASE  
  
Trinity had made her way to the highway, the twins still emptying bullets into the back of the car, but now 8 cop cruisers had also joined the pursuit.  
  
"Cant we ever go somewhere without pissing people off?" questioned Morpheus  
  
"What kind of film would that make?" asked Trinity.  
  
Sudden silence, Trinity focused on driving, whilst Morpheus fired Uzi bullets at the twins who phased to dodge them, but at least it slowed them down a bit.  
  
"Oh shit" said Morpheus  
  
"What now?" asked Trinity?  
  
"Agents, coming up fast!"  
  
The keymaker dude tried to cuddle up with Trinity in fear, but she slapped him.  
  
"Get a grip you stupid program and focus, hell is riding in" she said  
  
"Don't you mean driving in Trinity?" asked Morpheus  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" protested Trinity  
  
As they argued for a while, the Agent car pulled up beside them and out stepped a rather pissed of looking Agent Jackson.  
  
TO BE CONTIUNED… 


End file.
